Trusting God is hard. Especially when he tells you to do something that you're not really sure you want to do. Like calling it off with your boyfriend because God wants you're undivided attention. Yep. That's where my life is right now. I need to blog to get some of these feelings out. I'm so confused! Surely something so right can't feel this bad? If I heard from God, and I know I did, why does honouring him take so much strength. I feel like I'm being tested and it hurts so much. I can get over this hurt in time, its not my feelings I care about, it's his. I need to trust God to look after him and that's the hardest part. Especially when he was so sweet and caring about it all. I literally felt like my heart was being torn apart.
Enough. A new start. This is a season of singleness and I have to focus on God not on him. This is the hardest thing God has ever asked me to do. But it is for his glory and I will praise him in this storm. God please let him be alright, please take care of him and look after him.
Now I need to feel you in this place Lord, keep speaking, keep telling me I did right God! I need you more than ever! Help me to make you my one focus, my one desire, I give EVERYTHING to you now! My life, my plans, my present, past and future, it's yours. Let your will be done father. I love youand trust you, give me peace. Oh God, help me! Thankyou for this love, thank you for this peace. I love you, you are so gracious and so good. Bless your name O Lord! Amen.
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