Lord of my tomorrows

Trusting God is hard. Especially when he tells you to do something that you're not really sure you want to do. Like calling it off with your boyfriend because God wants you're undivided attention. Yep. That's where my life is right now. I need to blog to get some of these feelings out. I'm so confused! Surely something so right can't feel this bad? If I heard from God, and I know I did, why does honouring him take so much strength. I feel like I'm being tested and it hurts so much. I can get over this hurt in time, its not my feelings I care about, it's his. I need to trust God to look after him and that's the hardest part. Especially when he was so sweet and caring about it all. I literally felt like my heart was being torn apart.

Enough. A new start. This is a season of singleness and I have to focus on God not on him. This is the hardest thing God has ever asked me to do. But it is for his glory and I will praise him in this storm. God please let him be alright, please take care of him and look after him.

Now I need to feel you in this place Lord, keep speaking, keep telling me I did right God! I need you more than ever! Help me to make you my one focus, my one desire, I give EVERYTHING to you now! My life, my plans, my present, past and future, it's yours. Let your will be done father. I love youand trust you, give me peace. Oh God, help me! Thankyou for this love, thank you for this peace. I love you, you are so gracious and so good. Bless your name O Lord! Amen.

A heart for God

Such an amazing day! I went to an all day french workshop today which was really useful! It was great to be able to talk in another language with other people who all share that same interest. I love france, and all cultures and languages, it's really where my heart is at. I know God spoke to me about The Ukraine and other nations and I've been putting it off so I can follow my own plan through but I'm really starting to fall in love with the idea of travelling again and teaching English abroad.

I went to a prayer metting this evening, which was awesome! During worship, the pastor shared a word about qualifications and people feeling unqualified to do God's work and he felt God say 'I have qualified you, you have all the qualifications you need to do my work'. I've been fretting about Uni and career prospectives, etc. for a while and wondering if I should go to university and get qualifications for my future but I've known all along in my heart that it's not for me. I really don't want to go to uni. And all those words God has given me about The Ukriane and 'sooner than you think', I've realised that perhaps he doesn't want me to either! My mum wants me to go I think, as well as a lot of my friends, but if God's not in it, there is no way I'm going! I want to be used for the glory of the kingdom of God!

I'm going to France on a mission trip in July, if I get on the team, and I'm praying God will make in clear then what he wants me to do. I'm very excited! If I have to leave people behind; friends and family, etc. in order to follow God's plan then so be it. There are some difficult decisions I need to make but I know my God and I trust him to do what isbest. Everything according to his plan. For his glory!

Tonight, as well as the qualifications word, I was praying with my small group and I heard God inaudibly say 'Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life' then my small group leader prophesied over me saying 'God wants to expand your heart', she said that I am pure and my heart for God is pure and he wants to expand me to love him more and more and refresh my heart for new things. She prayed over me to be used greatly at college and for God to renew the work he is doing there and increase in his spirit. So that was cool!

I really feel God wants me to guard my heart more, to love him first and greatest of all and to keep myself pure and uncorrupted by others and by this world. I love Jesus so much, I want my heart to beat for him alone. I don't want to live for anyone else but him! Yet I get distracted constantly by other people whom I love greatly too and I need to focus more on Jesus. Help me God. Thank you for your unconditional love, which loves me even when I don't spend time with you, when I don't do what you want and when I don't listen to you. Thank you that you never give up on me. I love you Jesus so very much, you mean everything to me father!

Let me be more like you, help me to spend more time with you in order to be more like you. Let everything I do be because of my love for you! I pray that would be the first thing on my mind when I wake and whenI sleep, let me be compelled by your love. Form my heart to be moulded into yours more. Holy Spirit, I recognise I need your helpto do this, transform me Lord, renew me. Lord, I long for you! My sould thirsts for you! You are so good Lord!
Love, your daughter, Abbie xxxxx

Jesus is my best friend

I love Jesus so much! He is so good! I sometimes get uncertain about the future and about God's timing but there is no need! God's call and gifts are irrevocable: his promises are true and they will happen! God is good! There is no need to be anxious because what he says will happen will always happen in his perfect timing!

I love Jesus more than anyone or anything in the world and I will do anything he asks of me, He died for me on a cross so that I would be free! Thank you Jesus! Thank you! There is NOTHING I can do to make him love me more or less than he does! I'm holding on to you Jesus! Never let me go! How great you are God! Blessed be your name! Thank you for loving me, for freeing me from sin, for choosing me to be your daughter and for delighting in me! Thank you my dear, lovely, strong, father! How I do love you dad! I love you! Please help me to be more like you, for you are good!

When I am weak, you are strong! I will not fear for you are near God!!! Thank you for keeping me safe! Jesus you are my king! Reign in me forever! Jesus if you never do another thing for me I will still love you! It isn't possible to not love you for you are so great and worthy to be praised! How I love it when you smile at me, when you talk to me, when you give me gifts, when I go through good times and bad times I know you are there!

I pray my life would be fruitful with fruits of the holy spirit! More Lord! More of you in my life! Change me to be more Christ like! Whenever I falter, your love is an anchor and a refuge for my soul! AMEN!

Jesus is so good, so worthy of my praise! I love you father God! :)

God is love

I was baking bread yesterday evening and I was singing "Oh how he loves us" -beautiful song by the way!- and God just suddenly filled me with his Holy Spirit and I just felt his love and felt as though he was delighting in me. It was incredible, I didn't do anything, I wasn't seeking him but he just came and my heart was wrapped in his love. I love my God. He is beautiful, I can't wait to see his face!
On Tuesday I was asked what makes me completely happy; what is it that I do when I am completely content and loving life. I thought about it and said "when I'm in worship" I love worshipping God! On Sunday I was on worship singing at the front and I usually find it really hard to worship in front of people but God just came into that meeting and I was able to worship him completely! He filled me with his spirit and it was beautiful, he is so worthy to be praised!

God loves us, he is love, he created us for love and out of love. Lord, help me to love you more, with a purer, deeper love. Help me to love everyone around me more deeply and with the kind of love that you love me with. I want to be compelled by love, let everything I do be out of love Lord! Show me what love is in your eyes!

Lord, I ask for more moments where you just fall upon me, where you speak to me and change me God. Help me to live as an example to others, help me to live like you want me to live. I love you Jesus. Thank you for loving me unconditionally.

Just another post

Gracious! Sorry but I just love that exclamative expression! Just had a beautiful conversation with my beautiful best friend over skype! Really missing her but she's doing really well so I'm happy :)
Not much going on at the moment; went to work yesterday and church this morning. Church was pretty good, a lady got healed! She had been experiencing pain from torn ligaments in her hand and we prayed for it and she was healed! Thank you Jesus! I can't wait to return to school tomorrow and see what God wants to do this week! We shall see...

Just a short post today, feeling quite tired and there's not much to share at the minute. I will return when I return! Tata for now xxx

Fourth day

Keeps getting better! Today I had loads of conversations with my friends about God, eternity, sin, etc. God keeps opening doors to share the gospel! God is awesome!
This week has been such a bleesing to me and to my relationship with God, He has opened my ears to hear him better and it is wonderful! I just walked home from sixth form and God painted a beautiful rainbow! It was glorious! I've never seen such a vibrant and colourful rainbow before and just worshipped God! Isn't he a great artist?! I felt Him say "My promises are always over you, I never break my promises or transfer my promises to someone else. What I say will happen, will happen. My promises are over you." And I walked underneath that rainbow all the way home and when I arrived home the rainbow disappeared! Incredible! Thank you God for that experience! I want more!

I'm so excited to see what God is going to do this year, if we all surrender our lives to him he can do so much more! I've felt God speak to me recently about not clinging to anything but him. If we hold our lives in open hands God can give to us freely, yes he can also take away but you need to trust him. God is always good, in every situation he works for the good of those who love him. Let him be lord of everything and you will see incredible things. Bring revival Lord! Turn this nation around, turn my life around so I can be better equipped to serve you and share your love.

Tonight we will be praying for overseas and mission, particularly for our friends who have moved to other countries in obedience to God's calling. God meet with us tonight I pray, come Holy Spirit and teach us how to pray! Help me to worship you without distractions and let your will be done. Amen!

Third day

Loving life right now! God is good! He remains constant; he was, is and will forever be good! Today was good, just returned from the prayer meeting where we prayed for the church, ministry, mission, overseers, leadershi, etc. My small group leader and friend came up to me and prayed for me and afterwards said she felt purity coming from me and that God had a harvest for me, to keep spending time with God and he has much fruit to harvest for me. I then opened my bible and read this "then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine." That was so encouraging! Thank you Lord! Definitely up for spending more time with God and him speaking to me more! Can't wait to see the seeds I've sown harvested as well! Really exciting! Oh more God! More!

I love you Jesus! He is so good. Like I said, I've been praying for my boyfriend whilst he's away this week and we skyped last night and God is doing some crazy awesome things for him too! I won't go into details, it's his life, but God is speaking to him and meeting with him often and I just pray it continues even after he returns from this week! Thank you Lord for what you're doing in both our lives :)

I want to live in all the fullness of God! Let me experience that God, I seek you with all of my heart, let me find you! Thank you that when I seek, you are found.That when I ask, it is done. That when I knock, you open the door! You never leave me or forsake me and I am so grateful! Thank you God! I pray I would never become satisfied with living without you, let me continually thirst for more of you and continually be drenched in your spirit. There is always enough, thank you! Help me to love more easily, even to the people I don't know or have hurt me. Help me to love with your love, shape my heart to be like yours! I pray people would see the way I live and turn to you because of it! Not to us, but to your name be the glory! Amen!

Second day

Topics to pray for today:

Personal – pray for every believer:

Rediscovering “our first love” (Rev 2)

Spiritual ears to be unblocked

Walking well with God

Worshipping Jesus in daily life

Quiet Times with God - hearing his voice

To be full of the Holy Spirit

Strong marriages

Godly families

Honouring singles

Stewardship / finances

This is what our church is praying for this evening so I thought I'd pop it on here so if you're stuck for ideas of what to pray for then you can join us! I think this is such an important aspect of our lives; walking well with God! I want to have quiet times more often, hear from God more often and spend my life worshipping him! I'd love to have quiet times with my boyfriend sometimes too, my best friend and I used to occasionally do that before she moved but I think it's important to spend time with God alone and with other people who are important to you. There are so many benefits of spending time with Jesus, you will feel so blessed!

I find it really hard to try and live and walk in my own strength, I try to struggle against this culture on my own and I fail. I fall down, I get sucked into the world and don't live a life pleasing to God. I need his strength to carry on, I need him to help me. I need to spend time with him to recharge. He loves me when I'm good and when I'm bad. He loves me whether I spend time with Him or not. That's not why we do it. It's so we can experience the FULLNESS OF GOD! Don't you love that phrase? The Fullness of God! I want it! I want to experience the fullness of God, to experience heaven on earth!

If you're a creative person and find it hard to spend time with God why not worship him in creative ways such as painting or dancing or writing a song? God is so awesome! In games you can win and complete levels and even complete the game itself but with God you never reach the end of getting to know him; there's no end! God is eternal, no matter how much time we spend time with him we can never know just how good and awesome and full of love he is! He's just too big for our human minds! But oh it is so good when you spend time with him!

My soul longs for you Lord! Make me more like you! I pray that you would open our spiritual ears Lord, let us hear your voice more clearly! We are your sheep, we know you speak so help us to hear what you are saying! Help us to rediscover you and your love, to always put you first, you are the only God, you are the Lord, help us to stop putting other things before you! Only you Lord! Help us to worship you in our daily life and to spend more time with you everyday. Speak to us more God, give us prophecies and words of knowledge for others but also speak to us individually about our personal lives, speak to us more about your love and your plans and your goodness God! We love you so much! Thank you for giving us your Holy Spirit, thank you that we have your spirit dwelling in us, keep us longing after you, keep us seeking you. We ask for more God, more spirit, more love, more goodness, thank you for your grace! Thank you Jesus!! God help the church to be full of your love and to make a mark on this world, on this culture to change it! Form us to be more like you, living lives that are pure, holy and pleasing to you! Let us honour you with our hearts, minds, bodies and mouths. God we love you so much. I love you Lord! Thank you! You are good! You are the best! Thank you! Show us how we can experience the Fullness of God, show us the way Lord! AMEN!

Week of Prayer and fast

Today has been a good day. I haven't done much to be honest but I just spent some time with God which always makes it a good day! It's so great to have a friend who you can just unload your problems to and know that you don't need to worry about ANYTHING because Jesus is LORD over all. Whatever happens, He will NEVER be knocked off his throne! God is Good! Amen? AMEN!

So this week our church is having a week of Prayer and Fast and I have decided to focus my prayer on three main points (as well as praying for many other things): My boyfriend, The Ukraine and my College. The reasons? Well, my boyfriend is going away for a week on a church week away thing and I felt God ask me to pray for him. I'm praying that he will meet with God powerfully and God would speak to him clearly this week. I pray that he will become even more of a mighty man of God! He's such a great guy I thank God for him so really want to support him in prayer this week as he meets with God. Secondly, The Ukraine- Kind of obvious! I love the Ukraine and it's something on both mine and God's hearts, particularly street children and orphans so I'm praying for God's love to be revealed to them and for their protection. Thirdly, again kind of obvious, I know God's stirring up his power within my college and the lower school too so I pray that will increase and the guys there will be saved.

Life is good, I'm content, I'm happy :) God is awesome and I'm so excited to see what he will do over the next week as the church gathers in prayer. Looking forward to the first collective prayer meeting tomorrow evening and I shall update as I pray and hear from God.

Psalm 36:5-10
"Your love, LORD, reaches to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the skies.
Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,
your justice like the great deep.
You, LORD, preserve both people and animals.
How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!
People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast on the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light we see light.
Continue your love to those who know you,
your righteousness to the upright in heart."

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Ah it's good to be back! Hope everyone had a great christmas and new year! Made any resolutions yet? I haven't made nearly so many as usual I think I could some them all up in the sentence: This year I want to live a life compelled by love.


Awesome things are happening for the first week of 2012! It can only get better!


So recently I haven't been spending as much time with God, mainly because I've been distracted by 6th form, work, my boyfriend and all the new things that are happening, for instance my 2 best friends moved away :( Very sad but they're both doing what God wants and are enjoying it immensely, and we keep in touch... Anyhoo, so yeah then this week I randomly put on some worship music and looked back through my old prayer diaries (which were the main reason for starting this blog so it would all be in one place!) and yeah God just totally revealed himself! It was incredible! I heard his voice internally but so clearly, he told me: "I am not finished with you, my work in you is only just starting. I will use you. You will be used as a path for my glory in this nation. I have great things planned for you. When I look at you I see Jesus, this is not of you but a gift from me and when others look at you they will also see Jesus in you for my Holy Spirit is within you. Do not worry about doing right, I will not leave you."
How awesome is that?! Then I opened my bible and read: '"From the first announcement I have not spoken in secret; at the time it happens, I am there." And now the sovereign Lord has sent me, with his spirit. This is what the Lord says- your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: "I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go."
I was filled with His Spirit and felt renewed and encouraged by the things he said and the things I had written about my college from last year. I wanted Him to use me more so I prayed for lots of things, school, friends, family, etc.


Yesterday, I felt God challenge me to pray over my friends for words of knowledge/prophecies at school so I prayed and text my 2 christian friends asking if they could also pray but not much happened in terms of witnessing. Then today I woke up and felt God say "speak about my love" and I felt like I would talk to large groups of people because that is what I had been reading in my prayer diary, it was one of the prophecies spoken over me that I would witness to large groups of people and not to be afraid. And today, that oppertunity arose; we were all talking about God and one of my friends who has sprained his hip and has crutches, said he met some Christians when he was out for halloween and one of them spoke about healing and he said to me "Ah I kind of wish I had my hip thing then because they could have prayed for me" so I said "Do you want to be prayed for?" and he was like "Yeah okay then" and so I asked if I could put my hand on his hip and prayed and nothing happened so I asked him to stand and prayed again and nothing happened so I prayed again and this time I got indignant and prayed God 've just made myself look like an idiot here, no, I won't take no for an answer, heal him now in the name of Jesus! And he wiggled his hips and was like "Whoah, I'm healed!" And I asked if he felt any pain and he said no! So I said "You're sure? You're not just saying this?" And he was like "no it doesn't hurt! I'm going on a run tonight now!" PRAISE GOD!
Then he preceeded to tell his friends that God had healed him! He put it on facebook/twitter and wasn't afraid to tell the world that he was healed BY GOD! Awesome!!!!!


Thank you Lord! That is the first person I've prayed for who has been healed! Glory to God! Thank you for using me, for fulfilling prophecies over me for showing your great love and mercy! Thank you so much! Please speak to his heart and everyone around us who witnessed your mercy, please show them who you are, reveal Jesus to them and use me I pray! I pray for words of knowledge as I'm sitting with them, shine your light in our school God! Increase the number of people at the prayer meetings! Do more miracles! Thank you LORD! You are so good to us!


More Lord! Bring revival to this place! Bring my friends to church! Lord do more in our nation! I love you more than anything in the world! Let your will be done!


AMEN!