Such an amazing day! I went to an all day french workshop today which was really useful! It was great to be able to talk in another language with other people who all share that same interest. I love france, and all cultures and languages, it's really where my heart is at. I know God spoke to me about The Ukraine and other nations and I've been putting it off so I can follow my own plan through but I'm really starting to fall in love with the idea of travelling again and teaching English abroad.
I went to a prayer metting this evening, which was awesome! During worship, the pastor shared a word about qualifications and people feeling unqualified to do God's work and he felt God say 'I have qualified you, you have all the qualifications you need to do my work'. I've been fretting about Uni and career prospectives, etc. for a while and wondering if I should go to university and get qualifications for my future but I've known all along in my heart that it's not for me. I really don't want to go to uni. And all those words God has given me about The Ukriane and 'sooner than you think', I've realised that perhaps he doesn't want me to either! My mum wants me to go I think, as well as a lot of my friends, but if God's not in it, there is no way I'm going! I want to be used for the glory of the kingdom of God!
I'm going to France on a mission trip in July, if I get on the team, and I'm praying God will make in clear then what he wants me to do. I'm very excited! If I have to leave people behind; friends and family, etc. in order to follow God's plan then so be it. There are some difficult decisions I need to make but I know my God and I trust him to do what isbest. Everything according to his plan. For his glory!
Tonight, as well as the qualifications word, I was praying with my small group and I heard God inaudibly say 'Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life' then my small group leader prophesied over me saying 'God wants to expand your heart', she said that I am pure and my heart for God is pure and he wants to expand me to love him more and more and refresh my heart for new things. She prayed over me to be used greatly at college and for God to renew the work he is doing there and increase in his spirit. So that was cool!
I really feel God wants me to guard my heart more, to love him first and greatest of all and to keep myself pure and uncorrupted by others and by this world. I love Jesus so much, I want my heart to beat for him alone. I don't want to live for anyone else but him! Yet I get distracted constantly by other people whom I love greatly too and I need to focus more on Jesus. Help me God. Thank you for your unconditional love, which loves me even when I don't spend time with you, when I don't do what you want and when I don't listen to you. Thank you that you never give up on me. I love you Jesus so very much, you mean everything to me father!
Let me be more like you, help me to spend more time with you in order to be more like you. Let everything I do be because of my love for you! I pray that would be the first thing on my mind when I wake and whenI sleep, let me be compelled by your love. Form my heart to be moulded into yours more. Holy Spirit, I recognise I need your helpto do this, transform me Lord, renew me. Lord, I long for you! My sould thirsts for you! You are so good Lord!
Love, your daughter, Abbie xxxxx
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